That is how I feel about collectivistic cultures versus individualistic cultures. An individualistic culture is all I've known to be my reality, however, the older I've gotten, my worldview has broadened. I've discovered a whole new reality in which people work together, depend on each other, care about each other, and promote selflessness. Now don't get me wrong, I don't not care about people. I absolutely care about my family, friends, and people outside of those groups like marginalized groups or children around the world that don't have access to clean water. I care, I donate money, I volunteer, I support, etc etc etc. However, I know there are some aspects of my individualistic culture that I exhibit and that's just because that's how I grew up. But this "parallel universe" can very well help me understand even more about the world and the role I play in it.
Before starting my project, I did some light research on the Nepalese. I discovered that they come from a collectivistic culture, the country itself has a higher disease prevalence than other South Asian countries, and some of their history and how it effects their people today. From day 1, I was able to see their collectivistic nature. Suk Maya's son helped her with whatever she needed. If he got himself a drink, he would make sure his mother had one, and even us! He has supported her learning English by helping her practice from time to time. Additionally, when we met the family friends, we saw this emphasized even more. The families would help each other any way they can, they spend a lot of time together, and oftentimes the grandfather would speak for the family as a whole. He would say things like "we are enjoying going to class" or "we think you guys are good teachers" even if he didn't ask his wife if she agreed with this first. Recently, I told the grandpa that his English was improving and that I was impressed and he brushed it off. He did not care so much about his success, but more about the success of a family as a whole.
Additionally, I wonder if the reason they are more close knit is due to their culture or because they are in a new place and like to stick together because they don't know anyone else. Perhaps it's a mixture of both of those factors.
I wish I had some aspects of their culture. My relationship with some of my family members is not the greatest and I admire their unity and selflessness. Based on my experiences with them, I will make an attempt to encourage the group as a whole rather than singling out just one person. In order to respect them, I will avoid blunt honesty and sensitive issues. I've been doing that already, but now that I have a general idea, I can work on it even more. I've also noticed that it's taken them a bit to warm up to us, which is understandable since I know that collectivistic cultures tend to have fewer interpersonal relationships but have stable, long-lasting ones when they do have some. I'm not sure if they know that we're not always going to be coming over. So I believe that will play a role in my future interactions with them.
Note: I said general! Generally, individuals from Nepal are collectivistic. I can't make any assumptions without observing or even asking some questions. I think that's important to note because I can't pretend I have the answers to everything, even if I sometimes want to :)
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