So let me catch everyone up. I am not good with keeping up with this blog so there are some blanks that I need to fill. The family I am working with are the Tamangs. I work with Suk Maya closely (the mother) than I do with her son. My partner Amy and I have been going over to their apartment and helping Suk Maya with her English.
About three weeks ago, we discovered that our family had moved to Rock Island. We were happy for them for a number of reasons because the building is in better condition and they were closer to many other Nepalese families. I'm not sure of their names, but we met a family of a mother, grandpa, grandma, and three grandsons. Since then, we've had sessions with the grandpa and Suk Maya.
I often think about how my family interacts with the outside world. How do people on the bus see them? The grocery store? If I didn't know them, how would I see them? What assumptions do people make about the Tamangs? I've been thinking about whether they will eventually assimilate to the American culture or if perhaps they will acculturate.
Assimilation is when an individual takes on all aspects of the new culture whereas acculturation is when an individual retains culture but adapts some aspects of the new culture. I believe that the grandchildren and members of the younger generation will experience one of these two phenomena. However, I do believe that Suk Maya might experience separation. This happens when a person does not want a relationship with another culture and wants to retain characteristics.
Now, I could be 100% wrong and I hope I am! I really want my family to be accepted here and I really want them to feel like Iowa could be their new home. However, there are many factors at play.
Due to the fact that the children are younger than their parents (obviously) it's a lot easier for them to pick up on a new language. The grandsons' English was so damn near close to perfect. You could hear their accent only slightly and they were communicating fantastically. The youngest one was telling jokes and drinking Mountain Dew the entire two hours. He was a hoot!
Side note: The Nepalese LOVE Mountain dew.
The middle child is the one that we talked to the most. He served as a translator and we talked about what Amy and I do as college students and what he does in middle school. These children are younger and they are around English speakers for 8 hours out of the day. Their learning and success in school depends on them learning English and being able to communicate with peers and teachers. My hope for them is that they keep their unique cultural identity alive and not assimilate to the American culture. I know the saying goes "when in Rome, do as the Romans do", but who cares about the Romans! Their empire crashed and burned anyway. America is a melting pot and they add such rich experiences to it.
Now as for the adults, acculturation is a little more difficult. Older minds have a harder time learning new languages and unfortunately, mastery of the dominant language is power. They miss out on so much just because of the language barrier. Before a few weeks ago, I didn't even know that Suk Maya went to an actual ESL class. She know some words but often forgets the new ones we teach her because she doesn't practice in between visits. The grandpa's English is improving and I think Suk Maya is perhaps just lacking motivation. And I don't blame her at all! The English language is the most difficult one to learn. We have rules that we don't ever follow and patterns that don't seem to make sense....ever. Her self-esteem must be effected and is therefore getting in the way of her learning more English. I feel like due to these factors, she might want to separate herself from the American culture. She spent her entire life in Nepal and had to move to America unexpectedly. She misses the rest of her family that is still there. And although she came here is a refugee, her life before the hardship was one that she was used to and is all that she knows. Living in a strange place, with strange people, without some family members, I know she is utterly homesick.
Hopefully our future visits with her will help her learn more. I don't want her to assimilate, but acculturating will help her improve her quality of life. She won't feel isolated or down, but instead she can live a happier life here. I've learned that the children and adults are experiencing things differently and this effects how they communicate with me. In the future, I will encourage Suk Maya more and hopefully try to help her with any difficulties she is experiencing.
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